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Adrian Blamed God For His Sister's Early Death

My name is Adrian, I'm 40 years old with a wife and 2 daughters of 17 & 14. Iím a security consultant, which basically means I arrange security for people, events and the homes of people. I am a professional bodyguard who until 2 years ago only went to church for weddings, funerals and christenings.

Up until then I blamed God for the death of my sister who had Cystic Fibrosis, she was right up until her last breath a truly inspiring, happy and wonderful human being. She had an amazing affect on all that met her. She died at 15 the day after her birthday; I was 18 and an angry, bitter and resentful person who used her death as an excuse to drink to much and spoil for fights. Even after meeting my beautiful wife and having my girls I still when I had a drink became angry, causing my bitterness to surface.

10 years ago I became involved in the security industry and found something I was good at. I worked with the rich and famous which for some might inflate their ego whilst for me I just viewed it as work with wealthy humans.

My wife and children started to attend our local Vineyard Church, I mocked them and also loved the freedom on a Sunday morning to watch Sky Sports or go to the gym without answering to anyone. My youngest daughter begged me to come, my answer every time was no. At the time they were attending a number of my work friends had gone to Iraq to work as bodyguards, they earned huge sums at tax free rates and constantly asked me to go out there. I was contemplating it although deep down I had issues about going.

One of my best friends JP who had been a Body guard for the Spice Girls was out there, he returned after his first 3 month tour and had a months leave. He suggested I should get out there, maybe to work along side him. I was however in the middle of a contract and said maybe later. That was the last time I spoke to JP; he was killed by a suicide bomber in Baghdad.

I attended his funeral and felt something in my life wasn't right. The following Sunday I had a job to go to, so agreed to drop my family at Church before leaving. As I pulled up my family got out kissed me and went in. Outside was a guy I had never met before, he came over and introduced himself. Ed was a mans man, a teacher at a private school who ran the rugby team and the schools marine corps. He asked how I was as he had heard about JP from my wife. I told him how upset I was and that things had to change in my life.

He didn't pressure me, but next week I decided to attend the church just to check it out. I found a modern, loving and non-judgmental congregation who welcomed me as though I been attending for years. The next 2 years have been wonderful, I was baptised 18 months after first attending, I help out in a number of outreaches doing exactly what Jesus would have done, looking after the needy and less fortunate. I am truly blessed to feel the Holy Spirit and the love of Jesus with me.

I thank God that I finally found him and that he forgave my many awful sins. I also realise that me meeting Ed was no accident, God made sure that we met knowing that my time had come in his master plan.

For any non-Christians or those thinking of giving their life, please go for it. I have seen The Lord move in the most wonderful ways, healing and showing that love and forgiveness are the only way.