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How Jesus Changed My Life Ė by Ged

 

On the 4th October 2000 my world was blown apart. I was told to leave the family home as my wife wanted nothing more to do with me. She had finally had enough and could take no more. (I had an alcohol problem) For years she had been living with my mood swings and anger. I had this tremendous anger against everything, anything. I would go along for a while normal, then it would erupt. For no apparent reason I would just explode. My wife could not understand it and my children didnít know what was happening. It would suddenly materialize. I would not let anyone close to me (I couldnít) I did not know why. I never opened up to anyone.

I started to analyze my life, way back when I was a child. Then I realized things that had happened, things that I had never disclosed to anyone. When I thought about them myself I used to forget about them just as quickly as I could. I started drinking when I was thirteen years of age. I progressed from alcohol to drugs, then back to alcohol. I also started getting involved in violence, I became a member of a large gang, which ran the city centre of a large Scottish town, and we regarded it as our territory. We would fight at any opportunity; we would even travel to other cities in Scotland to fight. I have seen some really bad things, people being stabbed and slashed, I have also been in situations that I should never have came out of.

During all of this turmoil I got married and had two children by the time I was nineteen. I could not look after myself let alone a family. Needless to say I ended up divorced from my first marriage. As I grew older I gave up the gang life style, but the alcohol was still there. Years later I became involved in free masonry, reaching the 18th degree (Conclave), I only realized how occult this was, through the Lords revelation, after I had been saved. I had taken eighteen oaths including penalties upon my life. With the help of GOD I have renounced these and freemasonry now, although doing so and burning the regalia was traumatic to say the least.

As I said my wife had left me and she was preparing for divorce proceedings. I didnít know where she was, I was alone. My youngest daughter (who lives with us) was abroad on holiday at the time as was my youngest son. They knew nothing about what had happened. I was sitting in the house when the phone rang, it was my daughter calling from abroad, and she said she had spoken to her mother earlier at my sonís apartment. I now new where my wife was. Later that day my brother in law (a Christian) arrived at my house. He said he had been speaking to my wife and knew something was wrong. He saw that I was a totally broken man and asked if he could pray for me, which he did.

Something happened to me. When he left I got on my knees (a total wreck) and asked God to forgive me and come into my life and help me. I didnít know what to expect, but I asked him anyway. I lay with my face in the carpet for about an hour and a half. There were things coming to mind that I had long forgotten about, they were flooding from me. I could not get back to my feet, eventually I crawled up into the chair, I was totally drained and exhausted, physically and mentally. I knew something had changed in me. Thank you Lord.

I called my wife (who is also a Christian) later that day, and to my relief she agreed to meet me in my sonís apartment that evening. I didnít know what I was going to say to her. I thought I would just say the usual excuses, glossing over the real issues, but I didnít. I opened up and told her things about me that no one else, apart from God and myself had known. She found out some really bad things. My wife being the person she is, as well as being a Christian and also having the strength of our awesome God within her, forgave me. I could not believe it. I wondered what she had in her heart, to be able to forgive me for the things she had just been made aware off. It must be incredible. That Sunday I went to the church that my wife attended for the first time with my wife, we made a commitment to God together. Again something happened to me, I felt an amazing presence come over me.

I met the Pastor after the service. We talked and he prayed for me. Since then day by day I have grown in strength and my life has quality, meaning and purpose now. Every day I thank the Lord for giving me back my life, and more importantly to me, my family, but most importantly of all for bringing my wife and Jesus to me.

I am just about fifty-four years of age now; I struggled with alcohol for thirty-seven years. Since the day that Jesus graciously came into my life I have not had one drink, that has been over three years now. Thank you Jesus.

I have one purpose in life now that is to serve GOD as best as I can in my lifetime.